Thursday, September 20, 2012

I'm definitely a crappy mom!

One of my fellow bloggers, Life with Levi, threw out a challenge to those that oppose the "mommy wars" that seem to be never-ending. A way to embrace the title of "crappy mom" that other parents choose to label someone who does things differenty. 

As parents I feel like we make the best decisions for our children based on our own experiences, knowledge, research, etc. Whether your a first time mom or Michelle Duggar, parenting can be scary. You always wonder how the decisions you make will affect your child, the last thing you need is some complete stranger at the grocery store, on the internet, or wherever to pass judgement on you simply for doing what you feel is best. Now, I'm not going to say I haven't been that person myself a time or two, but I try my best to internalize my judgement and not let it pass through my lips. If it passes through my lips, I try my best to share those feelings with people I trust and not at the mother/parent who's parenting style I may not agree with. Catty/snarky? Sometimes, but it's reality, let's be honest. 

I do my best to live by the philosophy that as long as the child is safe and loved that each parent's style for child-rearing is up to the parent. So, with that being said, I'm following suit with Life with Levi and proclaiming the ways I'm sure I've messed up Little B by someone else's standards: 

I had a c-section. 

I got an epidural as soon as they let me

I never read "What to Expect..."  and I never took a Lamaze or Birthing Class

I've breastfed (and am still breastfeeding) B since day 1

I'm a lazy babywearer, I use wraps/slings/soft-structured carriers because I don't want to invest over $100 in something made of organic whatever and learn 19 different ways to tie it

I don't work outside the home

We cosleep

B has been caught more than once with dog food in his mouth (as far as I know he hasn't actually eaten any of it)

We have pets; 2 dogs, 1 cat, our house has furballs...constantly

Our decision regarding circumsicsion was made between my husband and myself, it was our parenting choice either way

We immunize

We never used rice cereal

We never bought (or fed B) pre-made baby food

I often don't buy organic fruit

We do not own 85% of "recommended items" on standard baby registries
We cloth diaper (obviously ;))

When B cries at night, I pick him up, most times nurse him. He has never "slept through the night"

We listen to all sorts of music in the car, none of it resembles the Disney Channel

I've forgotten "story time" once or twice

When B pees on the floor during diaper changes, I laugh

His "off-white" rocker in his nursery is more than just "dingy" 

I haven't had a drink, by choice, since starting fertility treatments back in 2010. (Actually, that's not entirely true, I did have half a glass of wine on our anniversary and drove home without the headlights on, not smart)

I'm almost positive this list is endless and there's probably 10 million other things I'm missing. I'm also positive that some people reading this have pretty strong objections to some of the choices Polish Prince and I have made. Heck, there are times that I even question what we're doing. But at the end of the day, when I look at B, and he is a happy, healthy, playful, developmentally "normal" 1 year old, I can't help but feel like we're doing something right. Other people have done, and will do, the exact opposite and also have happy, healthy 1 year olds and that's fine. That works for them. This works for us. I hope that going forward I will remember that and bite my tongue when I'm about to pass judgement. 


  1. Every Child is different, Every Family structure is different.
    We all have different needs - therefore we all will act, and react different throughout our lives.

    If we as a society put the CHILD first - we will all make decisions that will positively affect their development.

    Listen to your child, Do what feels right, and always keep learning.

    my Little E teaches me everyday and he is only 10 months old!

    Thanks for this post - it really puts expectations or judegments in perspective..

    ultimately - we all want the best for our children and we will do what works to make it happen :)

  2. Very true! Your last statement sums it up nicely! :) Thanks for the feedback!

  3. Very Nicely said Kristi!