ME time

As I put B down for his nap today, I realized I hadn't blogged in a while. Sure I'd been keeping Facebook updated, but my poor, neglected blog was...well...neglected. It wasn't until I logged in that I realized I have done nothing since the end of April! FOR SHAME! I tried to reflect and figure out where the last month has gone. My conclusion was that I have no clue. 

The past week we had our gender reveal party and had family in town, but prior to that just seems like a blur! My intent when I started my blog was to not only share my experiences as a new parent, but to maintain memories of life with B as well. Truth is, toddlers are hard work! They are constantly moving, all day long! When he does finally nap I find myself needing a mental break and sometimes writing doesn't always give me that. When I prioritize what needs to get done family comes first, followed pretty closely by laundry ;). So while part of me feels bad for not documenting all of our memories and experiences, the other part of me knows that for that time I was not blogging I was "in the moment" with my family. That, to me, is the most important thing at the end of the day. With that being said, I will be making more of an effort to write, review and discuss, but please know when I'm not it's because this little dinosaur needs my attention! 

Making it Official

When I found out I was pregnant with B, Polish Prince and I had been going through fertility treatments so we knew in the back of our minds it was always a possibility. We were surprised with how quickly it happened, but overall, not super surprised that we were going to have a baby. With this one however, there was all sorts of surprises. With surprises, come fun announcements. So here are a couple ideas for announcing a second pregnancy.

1) Telling Polish Prince:
After my initial freakout started to subside, I started to think of fun ways to tell my hubby. I went to my good friends at Zoolikins for help. In addition to cloth diapers and other natural parenting products, they also sell a variety of Dr. Seuss items. I thought it may be fun to do a Thing 1 and Thing 2 theme. So I picked up a Thing 1 t-shirt for B and a Thing 2 onesie for the baby. When hubby got home from work that day, B was wearing his Thing 1 shirt. He immediately noticed and said "Whoa, cool shirt buddy! Where'd you get that?" So I told him I took a trip to Zoolikins and saw it and thought it was cute. Little did I know Thing 1 and Thing 2 were Polish Prince's favorite characters. So anyway, I told him that I picked him up something as well, but it was in his stocking (since it was close to Christmas time). So he went to open it and pulled out the onesie. He looked confused for a second, and then looked at me and it clicked.

2)Telling my family:
We were planning to visit the midwest for the holidays to tell the majority of our family the good news, but my father lives in AZ nearby, so we wanted to tell him before we went home. We put a recent picture of the 3 of us in a Christmas card and brought it to his house. We were giong to watch a football game, so we grabbed some beer on the way over. On the inside of the card we wrote:
Gas $3.22
6-pack of beer $8.00 (or whatever it was, I don't remember now :))
Christmas Card $1.00
Watching your face when you realize there are 4 of us in this picture: Priceless

It took him all of 30 seconds to figure it out. My step-mom was next to him and read the card over his shoulder and figured it out just as quick.

3) Telling the in-laws
This was supposed to be a fun Christmas present, we were going to try and figure out a way to have B help tell them our news. Well, since I was so sick right away, there was now way to hide it. My in-laws weren't buying the "flu" theory, so we ended up telling them at dinner the night we got into town.

4) Telling extended family:
My extended family has a Christmas Eve tradition of getting together at my Grandma's house for Santa and snacks. Each person receives a gift from Santa that they are allowed to open that night. For B's gift we wrapped a toy and a copy of the book "I'm going to be a Big Brother". When it was his turn to open, he opened the present and my cousin's daughter was sitting near him. Everyone was asking what the book was, and she read the title outloud. Everyone's face was pretty shocked as they started to "get it" and it was quite fun to get to see it in person.

We had some fun with the announcements this time around. Have any of you done anything fun/creative? I'd love to hear it! 

Getting ready for two

As I adjust to this pregnancy, I can't help but feel some sadness mixed with my excitement. Sad because it happened so soon, sad because I'm worried about the adjustment, sad because it will no longer just be my little man and me and the undivided attention I am able to devote to him now, will have to be shared. I know parents say they love their children the same, but I wonder how/when that happens.

Someone shared this poem with me, and thought I'd share for those of you with more than one child, planning more than one child, or expecting more than one child. 

Loving Two

As I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: How could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you've never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me" And I hear myself telling you in mine,"I can't," knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying her -- as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two.

There are new times -- only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how she adores you -- as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments.

And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.

And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you -- only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. There's enough of that for both of you -- you each have your own supply.

I love you -- both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.

-Author Unknown-

This wasn't suppossed to happen

I've been debating about how/when to write this post for a while now. You may have noticed I've been pretty non-existent in the social network and blogosphere lately, I think it's time to explain.

Does anyone remember this post? It was one of my first posts and it was about my journey with infertility. We were blessed to not have to go through even half of what a lot of families do when trying to get pregnant, but it wasn't an easy journey nonetheless. Anyway, after having B we were given options for family planning. Polish Prince and I always joked that we had to pay for the first baby, if we got a free one next time we'd consider ourselves lucky! Truthfully, I hated being pregnant. I never felt like that "cute, glowing, pregnant woman." Couple that with having Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) and I wasn't exactly a fun person. Don't get me wrong, I loved the end result of all that misery, but I certainly wasn't in any hurry to go through that again. Polish Prince and I had talked about more kids in our future and ideally I would like B to be around 4-5 when I got pregnant again. That way he was a little more self-sufficient, out of diapers, most likely in school of some sort, and I would be able to devote time to being sick should I be blessed with HG again. Well, has anyone heard the anecdote "When we make plans, God laughs". Well God is certainly having a chuckle with me!

Part of extended breastfeeding that I enjoyed was the absence of mother nature's monthly gift to women (Sorry if that's TMI for you ;)) But it was great. B was 13 months old before I had to deal with that and wouldn't you know I only dealt with it for one month before mother nature was in cahoots with The Big Guy. Around Thanksgiving I knew something wasn't quite right, but the possibility of being pregnant wasn't even on my radar. Fast forward a week and I had to buy a test. 2 pink lines. W T F. I couldn't believe it, there was no way this was possible, this wasn't supposed to be able to happen. I immediately called the doctor. I had to get this confirmed before I even thought about telling Polish Prince. I didn't know what I was thinking much less him. Well, blood confirmed it, I was (and still am :)) in fact pregnant.

I'll likely follow this post up with a couple different ones about what's been going on since. How I told Polish Prince, how we told our families, our interesting trip back to the Midwest for the holidays and so on, but I thought I'd first just catch you up to where I've been! Bear with me, I'm still trying to figure out time management as well as how to drum up extra energy but in the meantime, now you know.

Oh, and be on the lookout as I research/review/giveaway (hopefully) some great maternity and newborn products!! I started B in cloth at about 4 months, so I have a lot to learn! :)

The holidays are here!

I'm getting excited for Christmas this year. B is really starting to take an interest in all the festive-ness that's going on around him. He loves the lights, the tree, the ornaments (we're working on this) and even loves playing with the snowmen and Santa dolls that sing and dance. I'm even getting excited to take him back to the Midwest for the holidays and hopefully getting to see some snow and do some ice skating! There are a couple things I'm struggling with though as I write this. 

Christmas is not about presents and Santa. It's about the birth of Christ. I want B to recognize the Nativity scene as easily as he recognizes Santa. I want him to know why this day is important, and I want him to sing "Away in a Manger" as often as he sings "Jingle Bells". How do you teach this to a toddler, when do you start? How do you know he's following what you're saying/doing/teaching? 

What about the family members that aren't with him anymore. The holidays always seem to exemplify the absence of loved ones who have passed. The traditions I remember as a child will not be the same memories B has. He will not get to have memories with such important people in his family. With all the spirituality that surrounds the holidays, how do you remember and honor those people without feeling the sense of longing that accompanies such amazing memories?

I'm sure as time goes on we'll figure all of this out, but I always want B to remember how special the holidays and family are, and not just focus on what's under the tree (or ON the tree as it seems this year :)).

Thankful Thursday part 3

I can't believe Thanksgiving is next week! I swear this month has flown by, not to mention the entire year! It's been a busy week, but I can't forget to refocus! 

1) My Education- True, at this moment I may not be using my degree per-sea, but I'm thankful I have it to go back to when B is in school full time. I'm thankful for what I've learned through that degree both in and out of the classroom, and I'm thankful that it will afford me many more opportunities in the future!

2) My Car- When we made the decision for me to stay at home I was worried I would become a shut-in, but having a car and the ability to go where I please, when I please is something I try to not take for granted. The fact that it's a safe car in addition to being spacious enough for my family is a double bonus!

3) Jeans- Well, all pants really. I'm glad it's now finally cool enough in the desert that I can wear pants and go a couple days without shaving my legs! :) I guess that makes me thankful for marriage too... :) 

Anyone else care to share? Feel free in the comments!

Thankful Thursday Part 2

It's been such a busy week so far, but I still want to take time to be thankful, so here go. Once again, no particular order:

1) Polish Prince-Sometimes I take for granted how hard he works to provide for our family. I find myself getting annoyed when he leaves at 6 in the morning and doesnt get home until 7:30-8:00 some nights. Then I realize he does that so I can stay home with B and have a relatively comfortable existance. I hope B inherits this work ethic as well.

2) Fall weather-Living in the desert you really begin to appreciate any weather that is not in triple digits. It's been a nice, mild week and I LOVE having the windows open. I'm also going to be thankful for my lower energy bill!! :)

 

3) Family-The majority of our family members live out of state, but getting to spend time with the ones who live here is fantastic. I love that B will have memories and moments of growing up surrounded by family and love. And for those family members that don't live nearby, I'm thankful for Skype!

Thankful Thursdays

I'm going to admit, I've been grumpy lately. B has switched up his "not-so-great" sleeping habits with terrible sleeping habits and I've had a few "woe is me" kind of moments as of late. Since today starts November, and Thanksgiving is right around the corner, I've decided to take a step back and turn my crankiness into thankiness <--you heard it here first folks, that will be a word! So, each Thursday I'm going to share 3 things I'm thankful for at the moment. These will be in no particular order!

1) SLEEP-I'm thankful that once he decides to sleep, even if it's for an hour, that hour is mine to do as I please, and you know what, dishes are not on that list today!

2) Laundry-I know it's weird, but as it's sitting here staring at me on the table, ready to be folded, clean laundry means my family has clothes to wear and the means to wash them. It means that even when there are clothes needing to be washed and needing to be folded, we still have plenty of clothes to wear. 

3) Hugs/Snuggles from B- Yes, he has been extra clingy and needy lately, but I'm thankful that he knows I will meet his needs. I'm thankful that he can communicate those needs to me and that he is home, safe, and healthy. So many parents would long for their babies to snuggle them, I'm going to take advantage, even at 3 in the morning. 

Please feel free to share in with your own things you're thankful for!

Our first Graduation!

One of my favorite things about giving birth to B in the hospital which we did is their "family centered" approach. When we toured the hospital I was impressed by the warmth of the rooms, they didn't have that "hospital" feel, and I loved that the baby was with you the entire time after birth (barring any medical necessity to be in the NICU). It made me feel comforted to know that we would be the ones caring for little B, but there was a staff on hand to answer any questions and help with any problems that may arise. One of the most important people on that staff team (in my opinion) was the first International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) that I had ever met. Her name is Tracey and she is one of the sweetest women I know. I believe she is a HUGE part of why B and I have been successful breastfeeding. Not only was there assistance and support offered in the hospital, but a "support" group was also available, free of charge, for the first year. Being a new mom I took complete advantage of the excuse to not only get out of the house but to meet some new mommy friends as well. 

So, fast forward a year later and B is officially graduating from the affectionately nicknamed "Boob Group".
I am so thankful for Tracey's leadership, wisdom and inspiration. I'm thankful for the women that I have met that I now consider close friends. They have helped me to not only become the mother that I am to B, but learn to laugh at the mistakes that I've made, and will continue to make! I love that these women are like-minded without being my clones. I love that we can have candid conversations about parenting, marriage, families, and even poop without fear of judgement. I also love that this first year is just the beginning, we will continue to keep in touch with Tracey and the other women from this group and look forward to the adventures that the next years will undoubtedly bring!

Congratulations to my little man on your first graduation, and congratulations to all of his classmates and families as well! :)

Wordless Wednesday, on Monday...with words!

I thought I'd share some of my favorite pictures from B's 1 year photos. A special thank you to Joe of Joseph Blech Photography. You did a great job capturing our little man!!

B's First Birthday

It finally came. B's first birthday. I want to make sure this post doesn't get too weepy about my little man turning one, so let's keep it straight to business and I'll show you how we threw an awesome pirate-themed party on a budget. I gathered most of my ideas through my board on Pinterest (you can see the whole board here), so I'll give credit to each of the sites as we get to them. Also, I had plenty of help from my family members that were visiting so when I say "I" going forward it usually means "we" :)

Our homemade, pieced-together pirate costumes

Let's start with invites. We wanted to do something fun an memorable and knew the majorty of people that were being invited lived nearby, so we opted for a hand-delivered option rather than standard invites. We were came up with a message in a bottle concept. Now, keep in mind, the bottles alone were $1 a piece from the dollar store, but initial plans were to have them double as favors later. I'll get to that part in a bit...Anyway, so we had the bottles, a little chalkboard paint covered up the oil/vinegar labels Then I wrapped some twine around the top, threw in some "play" sand from Wal-mart and some sea glass and jewels that were on sale at Michaels. I also got the paper for the invite at Michaels. They had decorative scrapbook paper 6 sheets for $1.00. I printed them and then we burned the edges to give it that "rustic" look.

Total invite: $2.13.

Just painted over the label with chalkboard paint

Found some catchy pirate lingo online

 

 

All of our guests were going to come through the front door, so we had to do somethign fun. I saw this wreath and thought it would be perfect! I had to re-create it! Once again, I hit the Halloween section at Michaels and supplemented with the wooden crafts at Hobby Lobby to make this wreath. Total cost about $15. 

 

 

 Then came time to decorate the house!

 

 

The birthday banner was made with 2 large posterboard pieces, $.97 each, from Wal-Mart and twine from Hobby Lobby (A large spool that was originally about $5.00, but I had a 40% off coupon that you can print off their website). The sticks on either side were taken off the trees from the backyard and the black webbing was on sale at Michaels in their Halloween department. This was also used for the wreath. The red and white material you'll see throughout, I also got that at Hobby Lobby with a 40% off coupon and the jars and vases on this table I already owned. The banner stringing was loosly based on this site.

I didn't want to go overboard on a cake, and trust me, there are TONS of cute pirate cakes, but none that I would have been able to make myself, so this one solved that problem! I got the recipe here. Instead of chocolate cake, I used marble instead.  The ring pops were four for $1 and candy necklaces were at the dollar store as well. Rolos were used for "gold". 

Whoppers, Sweedish Fish, and Kisses. The red skull is a borrowed vodka bottle with water and food coloring.

Many of my clever names came from here.

 This was the main table. Since it was an afternoon party, we went with snack foods rather than a "meal" of sorts. We used fruit, pasta salad, chips/salsa/guacamole, goldfish crackers, bread sticks and cheese cubes. The treasure chest in the upper left was a wine case that was on clearance for $1.49 at Michales that I just painted with acrylic paint. The candlesticks I already owned. 

  Another closeup of the decorations. I used the leftover seaglass from the invitations, soem party beads and plastic gold coins. Again, giving credit here for the awesome name suggestions!

 So these "cannon balls" came from this recipe and were a HUGE hit! They were honestly the first thing to go. We also grilled chicken wings (below) and served those with dipping sauces. The picture I took of the other dish didn't turn out so well, it was cocktail weenies and meatballs. We put them in one crockpot and labeled them Dead Man's Fingers and Eyes. Those went quickly too!

























After all that food, you must be wondering what we had to drink. I borrowed two beverage jars from friends. One had cucumber water and the other had sangria. I didn't like the recipes I found for grog, so I made "sangroga" instead. The cups were mason jars wrapped in the red and white scrap fabric, the twine from earlier, and a plastic gold coin. All of it was secured with the magic of hot glue, and the coins functioned as a place to write your name so you didn't mix up glasses!

The next part was a fun one for me. We had 7 little ones at the party, all around the age of 1, with one older boy who was all of 3 years old! I found little wooden pirate dolls at Hobby Lobby for $1.49 each and placed them in ziploc bags. Each bag had a couple squirts of paint and then they were taped to a card table on the floor. The kids were able to "paint" their dolls through the bag without getting paint everywhere!

Since the paint took longer than expected to dry, it was all kept in the bag and then put into their goodie bags.

The goodie bags has temporary tattoos, a bag of Pirates Booty popcorn, the dolls, and these fun bananas!

These bananas were irresistible! The idea for them came from here. Notice that red and white fabric, showing up everywhere!

Lastly came the man of honor himself, his little outfit. What to wear, what to wear. Well, when you cloth diaper, a birthday party is the perfect venue to go without pants and show off some cute fluff!!

This pirate diaper was made by an awesome, local, WAHM. She owns My Goodness Creations and made this cute pocket diaper. I stuffed it with a MF insert and and hemp doubler just to make sure he lasted teh whole party in it, and he did! Not one leak! The fit was amazing, and the snaps held up fantastically. Little B has been known to be a diaper houdini and I'm happy to say, this diaper stayed on him the whole party long! It was easily 4 hours, not one snap was removed! This has since been a favorite diaper of mine and after a few washes, I'm happily shocked that the color hasn't faded at all! You know how much I love a great WAHM diaper and this one is definitely a great indication of a well made diaper, plus her prices are awesome as well! Check out her Etsy and facebook pages for more info!

So, after seeing that picture, you must be wondering what B is wearing. He rocked a customized, white t-shirt to go with his fluff. Remember the car seat cooler pads I reviewed? Well that mama, Heather, also makes custom clothes, so I contacted her to help me out with a shirt for B. I apologize for the crummy picture, that kid wouldn't stay still! It has a skull patch, and a little pirate ship in the bottom right. It also says "ARRRR! It's me 1st Birthday!" I gathered the initial idea from here and Heather helped me come up with the final plan. Plus, she added the name patch on back (above) which I thought was a cute touch!















So there it is, the whole party! Our sweet little boy is already one. It has been a memorable year and I can't wait to see the changes life has in store for us going forward.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish

-Rascal Flatts "My Wish"

I'm definitely a crappy mom!

One of my fellow bloggers, Life with Levi, threw out a challenge to those that oppose the "mommy wars" that seem to be never-ending. A way to embrace the title of "crappy mom" that other parents choose to label someone who does things differenty. 

As parents I feel like we make the best decisions for our children based on our own experiences, knowledge, research, etc. Whether your a first time mom or Michelle Duggar, parenting can be scary. You always wonder how the decisions you make will affect your child, the last thing you need is some complete stranger at the grocery store, on the internet, or wherever to pass judgement on you simply for doing what you feel is best. Now, I'm not going to say I haven't been that person myself a time or two, but I try my best to internalize my judgement and not let it pass through my lips. If it passes through my lips, I try my best to share those feelings with people I trust and not at the mother/parent who's parenting style I may not agree with. Catty/snarky? Sometimes, but it's reality, let's be honest. 

I do my best to live by the philosophy that as long as the child is safe and loved that each parent's style for child-rearing is up to the parent. So, with that being said, I'm following suit with Life with Levi and proclaiming the ways I'm sure I've messed up Little B by someone else's standards: 

I had a c-section. 

I got an epidural as soon as they let me

I never read "What to Expect..."  and I never took a Lamaze or Birthing Class

I've breastfed (and am still breastfeeding) B since day 1

I'm a lazy babywearer, I use wraps/slings/soft-structured carriers because I don't want to invest over $100 in something made of organic whatever and learn 19 different ways to tie it

I don't work outside the home

We cosleep

B has been caught more than once with dog food in his mouth (as far as I know he hasn't actually eaten any of it)

We have pets; 2 dogs, 1 cat, our house has furballs...constantly

Our decision regarding circumsicsion was made between my husband and myself, it was our parenting choice either way

We immunize

We never used rice cereal

We never bought (or fed B) pre-made baby food

I often don't buy organic fruit

We do not own 85% of "recommended items" on standard baby registries
We cloth diaper (obviously ;))

When B cries at night, I pick him up, most times nurse him. He has never "slept through the night"

We listen to all sorts of music in the car, none of it resembles the Disney Channel

I've forgotten "story time" once or twice

When B pees on the floor during diaper changes, I laugh

His "off-white" rocker in his nursery is more than just "dingy" 

I haven't had a drink, by choice, since starting fertility treatments back in 2010. (Actually, that's not entirely true, I did have half a glass of wine on our anniversary and drove home without the headlights on, not smart)

I'm almost positive this list is endless and there's probably 10 million other things I'm missing. I'm also positive that some people reading this have pretty strong objections to some of the choices Polish Prince and I have made. Heck, there are times that I even question what we're doing. But at the end of the day, when I look at B, and he is a happy, healthy, playful, developmentally "normal" 1 year old, I can't help but feel like we're doing something right. Other people have done, and will do, the exact opposite and also have happy, healthy 1 year olds and that's fine. That works for them. This works for us. I hope that going forward I will remember that and bite my tongue when I'm about to pass judgement. 

Oh my dear...

I know I've taken a blogging hiatus lately, but I didn't realize it had been so long! The summer has flown by and the holidays are already upon us. Kicking off the fall is a very special "first" for us. Our "little" B turns one tomorrow and it's very bittersweet. I'm sure I'm not the first, or last, parent to feel this way. It's been a whole year since our lives have changed, a whole year of changing diapers, of sleep deprivation, of crying, of giggling, of milestones, a whole year of growth that will never be matched.

This time last year I was waddling through the grocery store, smiling while gritting my teeth through this conversation:

Well-intentioned complete stranger:(WICS): "Whoa, you're going to pop any day now huh? What is that, twins?" 
Me *awkward laughter* "Yup, today's actually my due date, so we'll see I guess!"
WICS: "Now honey, I'm a nurse, and it looks like you're going to have that baby soon, you should be resting. "
Me: (not in the mood for "friendly" advice). "Oh, ok, thank you. Have a nice day. 

Polish Prince was not too far away and the complete look of shock on his face was pricelsss. It's weird that men don't realize how when someone is pregnant, it seems anyone within eye-sight, earshot, or 100 yards seems to lose their filter and say and do very inappropriate things to complete strangers. Mind you, said pregnant woman (if they are anything like me) is genearlly hormonal and "over-it" at this point. So yes, getting back to it, Polish Prince was shocked that not only was WICS giving me unsolicited advice, she also asked the twin question. At least she refraind from touching my belly. That was a pleasant surprise. Another side note, since when is someone *not* touching your belly considered a surprise...

Anyway, we had been home for about an hour after the grocery store excitement and I was folding laundry on the couch when my water broke and the adventure began. That day will live on in my memory forever and I hope I rememeber it as vividly as I do now. I also plan to take some time tomorrow to write B's complete birth story. Perhaps I'll share it when I do. 

Until then, please be patient with my lack of attention dear blog, I promise like an old friend I will return soon! I have big plans for you! :)

At the stoplight outside of the hospital. Going in a family of two, coming out a family of three!